The embarrassing part

May 7, 2015

Disclaimer: This post is incredibly embarrassing and a little bit T.M.I. (Too much information). In an effort to share my experiences, I think its important to share things that are not always comfortable or exciting. If you are easily embarrassed, you don't know me that well, or are a future potential dating prospect please do not read this post. 

So here is the deal:
My surgery was what we call Laparoscopic which means they make multiple small incisions
(which I will not post pictures of)
and they use tiny little instruments to cut my stomach out. 
This is awesome because instead of having to cut me all the way open,
I basically will only have a few smaller scars.
Rockin' and Rollin'. 

To make sure that the tiny instruments get the job done 
first, they fill my abdomen up with a gas so they can have lots of room. 
When the surgery is done, they try to get as much of the gas out as possible.... but....
some of it has to come out naturally.
On Monday, I honestly didn't feel that different,
but Tuesday and Wednesday had me feeling like Aunt Marge
Honestly it was super uncomfortable and a bit painful.
And no matter what I did, I just could not get any of it out. 
Seriously though it wasn't pleasant. 

My nurses insisted that all I would have to do is to get out of my bed and get moving 
and the rest would come naturally.
But let me tell you, simply walking around was not cutting it.
As weird as it sounds I think that part of the problem 
is that I still can't say I completely understand my own anatomy. 
Plus it didn't help that the Timehop dinosaur was totally taunting me.
Are you kidding me Timehop? 
Are you trying to make me feel even more frustrated with the situation? 
Rude.

By the time that evening came around, there was seriously too much pressure and it was painful.
This is about the time that my dad, my aunt Grace, cousin Isabella, 
and the brother in law Casey came to visit. 
My dad had me sitting on couch patting my back like he was trying to burp a baby
ok, because honestly that is exactly what he was doing.
Grace and Isabella thought the whole things was hysterical.
Before I knew what was happening they were chanting
"fart! fart! fart!" 
with the door wiiiiiide open for the entire floor to hear.
Next came the paper towel "inspirational" posters trying to motivate me.
"fart on"
"get the fart out!"
and simply just
"fart!"
Now I wish I had taken pictures, but I think I was so embarrassed that I didn't even consider it.

#awkward.





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