Back to Weight Watchers

I was 13 the first time that I signed up for Weight Watchers.

Ya, I was always heavy, 

and knew from a young age that weight would be a lifetime battle.

But even then, I was already heavy enough that being a healthy weight seemed out of reach.

Regardless I always liked the Weight Watchers program.

I like having weekly motivational meetings-

it sometimes felt like group therapy.

I need to hold my self accountable daily and weekly

The point system was a good way to do that. 

I say I signed up for the first time when I was 13

because I've re-enrolled multiple times. 

Which is fine- this is a journey.
I sure as heck didn't get it right the first thousand times.

Since my Gastric Bypass surgery in May I've lost a total of 85 pounds,

which is exciting! 

Those 85 pounds did not come off as easily as some like to think.

Gastric Bypass is not an easy way out,

Any weight loss surgery is a tool- not a cop out. 

I've worked my butt off.

When I do what I am supposed to do- I lose.

When I don't- I don't. 

Well.... lets just say that by the time "the holidays" came around I was burning out,

I convinced myself that I deserved little cheats and gave myself excuses.

I could feel old habits creeping back into my life and I started to get scared.

I have not come this far just to put back the weight. 

I knew I needed a little more motivation to push past my stall,

I miss my trainer, but I just couldn't fork over the money to work out with her right now. 

But I knew I needed something, anything that would get me 

"back in the saddle".

I've gone back to Weight Watchers. 

I'll admit- the day I walked back into the American Fork location,

I felt weird.

Part of me felt like I had been defeated -

"I should have this figured out by now- I shouldn't have to pay someone to motivate me- I've motivated myself all last year- You've done this before- Will things ever change?". 

Part of me felt annoyed

"You shouldn't have to pay for support and for motivation- why can't you just pull yourself together?"

But part of me felt humble enough to just stay.

"Try it again for just one month" I told myself. 

So I did. 

I sat through the first meeting and felt uncomfortable and a little bit in denial. 

But I just kept thinking

"If you feel like it isn't helping in a month you don't have to return".

I tracked my points all week. 

It was embarrassing the foods I had reintroduced into my life.

I hated that I had to detox a little the first couple of days. 

I hated that my carb/sugar addiction had been coming back,

but I am officially holding myself accountable.

The program has changed. 

During my years with Weight watchers I have done:

The Flex program

The Core program

Points Plus

and now we've made our way to

Smart Points.

(I've probably seen others, but I can't remember them in this moment)

Plus- Oprah.

I'm impressed with the changes to the program,

encouraging more "whole" foods and protein,

adding points to items with low calories but high in sugar/fat.

It just seems like a smarter Weight Watchers. 

Heh.... I guess that's why they are called Smart Points. Good one Lex. 

So I finally had my first returning weigh-in yesterday.

I had made an effort to now weigh myself the entire week,

so I was happily suprised when they announced that I was down

5.8 pounds. 

In one week. 

I haven't lost that much in one week since the all-liquid/ immediately after surgery days. 

That is more than I've lost since... cough.... the holidays began. 

Finally the weirdness left and I was excited to be back.

I need support.

I need accountability.

And even if I had an incredible weight-loss surgery, 

I shouldn't feel ashamed of needing those things. 

This is a journey. Still a transition. 

Sometimes I need to re-remind myself.

I sure as heck do not have this figured out.

But it's more figured out than it was before.

I am SO CLOSE to my 100 mark. 

And for once in my life- it seems like I might make it there. 

New Year, New Girl, 2K16

Oh! Hey! 

(well this is embarrassing.....)

HOW ARE YOU? I feel like it's been forEVER since I last saw you! 

And really, I have no one to blame but myself. 

I tend to do this with blogs/journals/any sort of documenting my life experiences,

but I have had so many people ask me about my blog that I realized that it was time to get back on the bandwagon. 

SO much has happened since I last hit my 50 pound mark and blogged about it.

I almost feel like a whole new girl. 

I started a new semester, 

with all new goals,

new job,

new internships opportunities (x2),

a whole new world of dating,

working out with my trainer,
new hair style,

and SO much more. 

(if you're nosy enough to ask me about any of the above I'd be happy to fill you in on my life) 

I can't believe that I am almost 8 months post-op!

Where has the time gone? 

My body is still changing so so much, but it sometimes it can be hard to see it in yourself,

even if the scale is telling you that it's true. 

It wasn't until today when I was going through my camera roll,

and decided to take some "update pictures" did I feel like I could see a difference. 

Total time: 8 months post-op 

Total weight loss- 85 pounds

(These pictures were taken only this last August, so about the last time I posted on the blog. I was about 50 pounds down in these before pictures) 

(this one is backwards, but you get the idea)

For those of you wondering, I am back to as normal of a diet as I think I ever will be.

I can eat a lot of things again, but with MUCH moderation.

If I get too much sugar, I get sick.

If I eat too fast, I get sick.

If I eat more than a palm sized amount of food at a time, I get sick.

But 8 months in, I've basically figured out what works and what doesn't,

and its become fairly easy to stay away from the things that don't go ever well. 

Since school started this fall, I've STRUGGLED getting to the gym. 

Over the summer I was doing so well, and getting so strong, 

but it was hard to keep up the routine when school started.

I've made adjustments to my school schedule, 

and I have moved back home so it is easier to attend "my gym" 

and I think both of these things, as well as some new found determination will make a difference.

I've started running again and I can already tell a difference between starting a cardio routine 80 pounds ago, and today.  

I am not perfect.

My diet is not perfect.

as I just mentioned above, 

my workout routine is not perfect,

but I'm improving,

I'm changing,

I'm transitioning.

I'm doing so well.

I am so blessed.

I am so thankful for my amazing parents 

who made this life change so possible and their love and support 

through the physical and mental pain of it all. 

They are my rock. I would not be able to do without them. 

If you have young children (especially girls) who struggle with their weight,

I beg you to read this article. 

As someone who came from a home that kept most of these rules, 

I can say that it made the world of difference. 

New years resolution 2k16- UPDATE THIS BLOG MORE FREQUENTLY.

(but seriously, feel free to hold me accountable and ask when I'll update again)

Current phone wallpapers:

"I want to be your friend"

Major Milestone- 50 pounds down

Today's a big deal.

As of today I am officially down 50 pounds since I began this journey.

50 pounds down since I started my 2 week pre-op all liquid diet.

Its been an emotional journey,

and just as mental as physical. 

Weightloss is definitely a mind game. 

Some days I totally see a difference and I am motivated by results,

others I feel discouraged because I don't feel like I "look like" I"ve lost 50 pounds. 

Even though these pictures are not "full body" they help me see a 50 pound weight loss difference.

The picture on the left was taken days before my "all liquid diet" started.

The picture of the left was taken a week ago

One thing that I have really been focusing on lately

(and that I am sure has finally pushed me through the plateau and getting to this major milestone)

is working out at the gym, and signing up for a personal trainer.

Now, do I really have the money for a personal trainer? 

No, no I don't.

But I am so glad I'm making sacrfices to do it.

She pushes me and motivates me to get things done on my own. 

She also makes me look about 7 feet tall in this picture.

please ignore the "post workout sweaty/fuzz hair"

Remember the picture on the left? 

Pre-op compared to yesterday

#thatbaggyshirttho

Thanks again for everyone's support. 

Thanks for the love and the well wishes.

And now, for some celebatory GIFs:

THIS VIDEO IS ON POINT.

Excuse the language, but I relate to this video on so many points.

So, really, how could I NOT post it? 

Truth is....

I wrote most of this list on a harder night. 

A night I was feeling pretty emotional.

I want you to know that it's not always bad,

but in an effort to "keep it real"

here is a list of truths. 

Truth is..... 

...sometimes i notice a big difference and sometimes i don't

....I wonder if people only say i "look good" out of politeness

...sometimes I have i have a hard time believing i could ever be healthy and my goal weight

...I still crave diet coke every single day

....Sometimes i get discouraged

....Sometimes i feel motivated

....Sometimes i run without wanting to stop

....Sometimes I watch the clock on the treadmill my entire work out

...Sometimes i just want to indulge...

...and I get mad when I can't.

...I get defensive when someone tries to tell me what I can and can't eat without getting sick.

...Periods are way harder post op

...It is definitely not the easy way out

...It's hard not to focus on the numbers on a scale

....It's hard not compare to other wls patients

....I'm not patient with myself at all

....Mental barriers are the hardest

...Addictions aren't always apparent

....Self control is hard.

...I worry that people judge me too much.

...I Sometimes feel frustrated

....Sometimes i feel liberated

...I wonder if I'm actually worth the money it cost

....I really want to love running.

....This journey isn't always ideal.

....I cry. A lot.

....It's hard to talk about. And hard to put into words.

....I'm a hot mess.

These are a few of my favorite things {June 2015}

One of my favorite things is to watch girls on YouTube publish monthly videos of their monthly favorites. They always give me a good idea as to products I should try and things that I might like, so I figure, why not do the same thing here? 

We all could use some favorite things in our lives! 

We all could be healtheir!
So I would like to formally intoduce to you the series:

My Favorite Things- Monthly Favorites 

I will try to keep the focus on things that are WLS related, or things that motivate me to keep moving,

but sometimes I might throw in a couple "randoms"

Its my blog, and I'll write what I want to.

So without further ado, June 2015's favorite things:

-Mio Strawberry Pineapple

Because if I'm not drinking Diet Coke (aka. BAE) then I gotta get my caffine somewhere,
 #amiright?
Found at most major grocery stores
-Having a routine

-Dollar tree cups

These little puppies are my go-to all day, every day. 

I still struggle getting my water in everyday, but I've found drinking ice water from a straw 

(usually with the MIO or Crystal Light drops) help keep me sippin'. 

Plus, they are litterally a dollar at Dollar tree, so if you lose one, who even cares? 

Found at Dollar Tree

-Couch to 5k app

I've talked about this app before, but I am honestly LOVING it.
It's seriously the only thing that can get me to get on the treadmill some days.
It's motivating because I honestly feel accomplished seeing myself improve and I don't get overwhelmed in the first few days thinking that I will never be able to finish.
Basically: ITS DO-ABLE
Totally recommended for any "Non-runner" hoping to get into shape.
Feel free to pair with your favorite playlist. Here's mine.
Available for Android and Apple

-"Stinky cheese omlettes"
(As named by my youngest brother, not me)
Picture one: Mix one egg into frying pan and begin cooking "omlette style"
Picture two: add freshly crumbled feta cheese to begin melting on one half

Picture three: Add Salsa (Mine is a very yummy mix I found at the farmers market that includes tomatoes, basil, garlic, and onion- similar to bruchetta found here) add a little more feta cheese to melt.

Picture four: Fold over omlette, flip, and allow cheese to melt.

 *Note: I can rarely finish this entire omlette, but it tastes so good that I can't stop making it.

-Cooked Shrimp with cocktail sauce

 I usually can only eat about 5 with sauce for lunch, but its a great way for me to get some extra protien in, and its super easy-all I have to do is defrost!

-Costa Vida salads without rice, tortilla, or chips + extra meat

 With the extra portion of meat, the "small salad" is a great dinner that usually lasts me about two days. The beans, and meat choice are great to get that extra protien in, and it just tastes so dang good. I'm really lucky that I can tolerate lettuce, because I know that many that have had WLS can't- especially this early on.

-Beef Jerky

A great snack choice when I am needing some extra protien (ok, like every single day) and I can keep it in my purse or bag to carry around with me. Nice to have non-refridgerated options. 

-The Sweaty Betty Instagram page (HUUUGE inspiration)

Ok so there are LOTS of new WLS girls that I have started to follow on Instagram, and I am SO glad I found them. They really just motivate me to become better every single day and they give me the inspiration I need so badly when I feel like giving up. There are multiple girls I could share with you, but I figure I will pick one "favorite" a month. This month is Betty from @thesweatybetty. She posts multiple times a day and always keeps it so real and so motivational. Even if you aren't a WLS patient, but are looking for some healthy (not obsessive) motivation on your Instagram feed, look her up.
This could almost count as a #wcw.


What were some of your favorites from June?
Also, feel free to add me:
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