My Pre-Op Uniform

The last little bit I've found myself basically wearing variations of the same outfit.

Black leggings/ black yoga pants/ black workout pants

Some form of cream/white shirt

(sometimes with a little neon or color_

and my new Nikes

Unkept/ Airdried hair.

Every.

Freaking.

Day. 

#sorrynotsorry

 

My current favorites are:

 these black work out pants from Old Navy.

(Ok what the freak? They are on sale for $20?!?!? I'm totally getting a second pair because I LOVE these)

My new Nikes,

and you can find the top here. 

Friz hair is unique, one of a kind and can not be bought. Sorry ladies.

This honestly hits a little too close to home:

All Liquid Diet-Day 9

Day 9 and we are hitting the home stretch.
It was a BEAUTIFUL spring day today.
This morning almost right when I woke up I need to take something to the mail,
because our community mailbox is just a bit down the road,
I decided to put on my tennis shoes and take my dog for a little walk around the neighborhood.
It was so nice out, and we were enjoying ourselves so much,
that we ended up walking for 2 miles
just enjoying the sunshine and the breeze.
Could there be a better way to start off your morning?

My dog Lucy- never ever willing to look at the camera. 

Stinker. 

I also came across this HYSTERICAL quarter life poem:

Picked up some more vitamins at Costco today
I'm a child and buy the gummy's
and also a new box of the Premier Protein.
Decided to try the vanilla
"jus' fo' fun".
(if you didn't read that in Nacho's accent you are doing it wrong)
It's good! I like it.
I still feel like chocolate is my favorite flavor of protein shakes.

Hardest part of the day:
Pizza and work today smelled SO good.
What the heck is the deal? Since when am I surrounded by pizza
ALL THE TIME.
I swear I wasn't around it this much before now.
Schmmmurg.
It's gotta be challenging though, right?

You know what I'm really missing right now?
Some quality meat.
Like turkey, steak, or chicken.
Anything that I can chew and just feel the protein.
But it's going to be a while until.
And until I can actually have meat,
I'll just keep on swiggin' these protein shakes and soup broth.

Fitbit stats:
Steps: 9.421
Water Intake: 66.3
Calorie Intake: 839

All Liquid Diet- Day 8

What a good day!

I started off the day excited 

because when I weighed myself I realized that I am down 10 pounds!

Well, I guess it makes all of the frustrating/ hard moments worth it. 

I had my last Dr. appointment with my surgeon
before the big day.
It was supposed to be the "scare you out of surgery" appointment,
so I was totally bracing myself.
But it didn't scare me-not even a little bit.

One thing he mentioned is that my Vitamin-D is low,
so he suggested that I start taking 5000 unit capsules
10/day until surgery
and then a regular dosage after.
I bought this brand from Costco:

Luckily they are small so it shouldn't be as bad as I thought

when he told me that I would need 

10 A DAY!

Talking to my surgeon and chatting with my nurse

got me so excited! 

I can't believe it's so close! 

I found this Tedx talk that I love:

Hardest part of the day:
My brother brought home 2 pizzas for dinner for the family.
......

the aroma was pure torture
but I stayed strong!

All Liquid Diet- Day 6&7

These last two days have been harder. 

I am so glad I haven't given in and just gobbled everything in sight,

but I would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted sometimes. 

Fav of the day:
Going to Olive garden for lunch

"Unlimited Soup without the Salad"

=$5

#winning

Avoiding unlimited breadsticks

= The hardest thing ever.

Ok. Not ever. But close. 

All liquid Diet- Day 5

Started the day off with Kirklad Weight Loss shake.

Found this and loved it:

It was a pretty boring day.
I was moving
so.... not a lot of fun things to report.
I am getting really sick and tired of the texture of the "powder protein" shakes
So I have spent most of the day drinking Kirkland and Premier Protein.
This was short, but not a lot to report.

All Liquid Diet- Day 4

Today was a "chill" day, because I needed to rest my ankle.

I mostly just let it heal, icing it 

and trying to pack up my things when I felt like I needed to get up.

My friend Claudia wanted to take me to lunch for my birthday,

and after the revelation from yesterday,I agreed

and we found a place to eat that would have soup.

Tomato and Basil. Pretty good. 

Although all I wanted to do was dip my fresh white roll in it.

I'm worried that I've become a little too relaxed when it comes to counting my calories and proteins.

So far I haven't ever gone over my calorie count, 

and with the help of Premium Protein

I haven't had an issue getting the 70 g of protein in either.

My water intake has also decreased 

because when all you do is drink your food, 

you just dont get as thirsty. ll do better though. 

Must get water in!

Must track calories religiously!

Must also track proteins.

Funny experience:

I also went out to eat with a friend for dinner,

again I ordered a soup.

I decided to get the big bowl because I hadn't felt satisfied since starting the all liquid diet,

and normally this bowl of soup would have been devoured without a second thought.

But today, I was so full at the end that it hurt my stomach!

I guess this means my stomach is shrinking! 

I can believe it though. 

I hardly even get hunger pains,

and when I do, I quick protein shake takes care of the job. 

To me, I feel like considering it's only day 4,

that's pretty good!
I'm feeling more empowered. 

I am going to make it 14 whole days! 

All Liquid Diet- Day3

Today is was my birthday! 

Last week when we set my surgery date,

and I found out that I could have my surgery as early as May 4th,

I was excited at the idea to get it done A.S.A.P.

The only thing that made me hesitant was that
I was going to have to do the "all liquid thing" on my birthday.

But I decided that it wouldn't be worth delaying my surgery 

a whole week later just for one day.

I'm not going to lie. It wasn't fun.

I guess I just didn't realize how much of your birthday revolves around food!

My neighbors brought me over my favorite candies,

everyone wanted to take me out to lunch,

some of my favorite guys brought me a HUGE cupcake,

and I just wanted to celebrate because I had nothing else exciting going on.

Luckily I had spent a wonderful weekend before celebrating.

I just kept telling myself that "last weekend was the celebration" .

Like I said, it was a bummer.

To top everything off,

I sprained my ankle.

I have to move out of my apartment this week, 

and so I was carrying some boxes 

and I couldn't see the uneven sidewalk in front of me,

so I totally biffed it.

It hurt real bad to walk,

and I had to work a couple of hours later!

I had already asked everyone I could think of to cover my shift 

(because of my birthday)

so I knew that no one could cover for me.

So I hobbeled to work, 

where everyone wanted to buy me dinner. 

Luckily almost everyone knew that I was officially "all liquid". 

My manager ended up buying me and the girl working with me dinner.

I just ordered a really yummy tortilla soup

that can a very flavourous broth 

and I just had to take out all the chunks.

But I was still a happy camper with my soup.

And then I realized, 

I could still eat out with my friends

I would just need to order non chunky, soups!

This realization broadened my horizons in so many ways.

I suddenly didn't feel as depressed as before.

So here are the lessons from the day:

- Learn to how to celebrate without food

-You can still each out with friends. Just order soup

and lastly:

All Liquid Diet- Day 2

Weeeee!

Day two is done!

I am amazed at the difference between yesterday and today.

Yesterday I felt crabby, emotional, and overall HANGRY all day.

I felt like my body was constantly sending signals to my brain telling me

"You're hungry, you're hungry you're really really hungry."

It basically consumed my thoughts the entire day.

Today, I woke up feeling GREAT.

I started the day with Xyngular+Crystal Light Pure Mixed Berry

                                                                       

It was a pretty good mixture, but honestly my favorite part 

was that I added some chipped ice from the corner market. 

It made all the difference!

Made the drink colder, smoother,

plus I'm an ice chewer- 

so it felt like I was actually eating something.

So ya, that was a win.  

It keep me going for quite a while.

Actually, I feel like I barely "ate" anything today.

A couple of protein shakes, but not nearly as many as yesterday. 

My body did not feel nearly as hungry as yesterday. 

I felt more in control, and it felt great.

I'm looking for a simple protein counter or "anything" counting widget. 

Anyone have any ideas?

Also, this article made me laugh out loud,

and I love that the Lilly Pulizer Plus sized line at Target was such a success!

All Liquid Diet- Day 1

Today I woke up with the cutest text from my sweet mom:

"Happy first day of the rest of your life!"

I'm seriously so lucky to have such a supportive mom.

Started the day out with 2 scoops of Xyngulars Lean Protein shake in Vanilla Bean in 16 oz. For a first time, I didn't think it tasted too bad. It was smooth and I liked the vanilla flavor. 

Mental hunger set in. Threw in a piece of gum which made it tolerable. 

Later, I had a group meeting on campus, so I packed 2 scoops of the Monavie Core Protein Shake in Vanilla Bean. At my meeting I started really feeling really hunger. Added water to my shake to drink and control my hunger. The Core shake is definitely thicker and more frothy, although the verdict is still out as to which of the two I prefer. 

Everyone in my group was complaining about how hungry they were, pulling out bags of chips, cheese sticks or just mentioning all the food they wanted to eat when we were done. I stayed silent and just keep moving forward. Then, they started mentioning how we should go to dinner at this local Mexican restaurant to celebrate turning in our final project. I normally would be so excited about stuff like that, but I kinda hope they don't do it so I don't have to feel left out. I guess its time to get used to that. 

After my meeting, but before work I decided to run to Costco to get some weight loss shakes that would be easy to grab and go. My physiologist had recommended the Premier Protein because it ensured you got your required proteins each day. 

So far, I don't feel like it will be too hard to get the required proteins (70g) or stay within my calories (1000 calories). Right now I am more concerned about dealing with hunger, "withdraws, and feeling week. 

On my way to Costco I literally felt like I was on the brink of losing it. I know that cheating on this "liquid diet" is not an option, but I was feeling frenzied. On my way to work I called my mom and just talked through my emotions.  I was amazed how much just talking about what I was feeling really helped me. Of coarse, she cheerleader-ed me right back. 

At Costco I decided to pick up the Premier Protein shake in Strawberries n' Cream, as well as the Kirkland Weight loss shake (which is more calories, but I was hoping might suppress my appetite a little more), 

Once I got to work, I was already feeling a little.... emotional. We had some issues that would have normally been stressful, but due to my heightened "on edge-ness" I felt more emotional that I would have, and got a little teary. Luckily I was able to keep it together. 

Throughout the day I just had to keep reminding myself

"The first day is the hardest"

I felt a lot like this:

Around 7:30 I really started feeling sluggish and cranky. I kept thinking to myself

"How the heck am I going to be able to do this for 14 days"

Then my co-worker convinced me to head up the can of Vegetable broth that I had brought. 

I added a little salt and pepper, and I was astounded! 

It wasn't half bad! 

It was warm, it wasn't sweet like the protein shakes,

and I felt satisfied!

HALLELUJAH!

Suddenly it felt possible.

So here's to the first night

and the many to come. 

Starting Fresh

I'm the kind of girl who has struggled with her weight her whole life. 

To be completely honest, I'm not sure if I know any different. 

It's always been part of who I am- the fat girl. 

You know, no one WANTS to be the fat girl. 

But when you don't know anything else, you just kind of learn to live with it.

I've fluctuated- Oh how I've fluctuated. 

But finally enough has become enough.

I'm ready to start fresh, 

to change forever,

and I've decided to document it. 

In two short weeks, I will have life changing surgery-

Gastric bypass

In which they basically scrape out my innards 

and leave me with a stomach the size of my thumb. 

Rad. 

As I've researched this, 

I was hoping to find someone else's story 

who could warn me of what was to come,

where I could read their life changing experience 

and get excited for mine

but I didn't find much. 

Gastric Bypass apparently is embarrassing

apparently we're not supposed to talk about it,

let alone make it a public affair,

but you know what I say?

Screw it. 

If my experience can motivate someone else's 

or even just the creative outlet that I will need

let that be. 

Now lets be honest here:

I'm not a writer.

I'm not a health professional.

I don't even have my life together

I'm just a girl,

making some changes 

and seeing some changes,

and this is my tale of transition.